Ouch

I've seen God do some pretty cool things in my life. For example, giving me MM#1 and MM#2. Another thing He has done has relieved me from the daily pain of rheumatoid arthritis. I still have it...but He has made it so that I'm not on meds or pain meds or anything. Sometimes ( once in a long while) I will have a flare-up. It's not often, usually when I have been on my feet for days on end and just overdoing it. I sometimes forget to thank Him when I wake up in the morning and notice that I am not in any kind of pain. I know what it is to wake up and immediately be in pain...and have it not go away. It's hard, but God has helped me and healed me. When I do have a flare-up, I see it as a sweet reminder of all the days he has given me that are not filled in pain. I take advantage of the days that it doesn't hurt to walk, or run, or open a jar. I take advantage of the mornings I wake up and stretch and have no swollen joints.
So when I do wake up with a flare-up ( like this morning)...when it hurts to bend my fingers or walk on my swollen feet...I thank God that He has been so wonderful as to give me the days when that is not an issue. He uses that time to bring me very close to Him. So, I am not sad when days like this happen. I'm thankful. I use it as a time to draw near to Him and He always takes the pain away. It may take a day...it may take a week. But - He will take it. In the meantime, I enjoy a time that He has given me where I must truly rely on Him for support and strength.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10:

⁷To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. ⁸Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. ⁹But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. ¹⁰That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I look back at this verse a lot when I am in pain...because I know that God has allowed me to experience this for a reason. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weakness...for when I am weak (like today), then I am strong.

It is Finished....

The first day of school is done!!! Yay!

And it was GREAT!. What a difference it makes to make sure to meditate on God's word first thing in the morning! He made the day smooth ( except for my heel breaking during 2nd period, but hey! He made me laugh about it). He made the kids calm ( more or less), he made me calm. He made the lesson flow, he gave me words, he gave me a smile. He gave me peace. He gave me joy. He reminded me that He is in control. If we listen hard enough, we can hear Him say " Hey! I got this". And if we have just enough faith we can say, " Good! Cause I don't"!

What a relief to have the first day under my belt! I am excited about tomorrow and excited about the whole year.
Tomorrow is Zumba! Amanda and I are ready to go! We love going to Zumba and letting that cute, little, bubbly lady kick us all over the room. Amanda didn't go with me last week...and I missed her moves!



He gave MM #2 a great day, too!

Jabez

Today is the first day of school! Today is the the very first time I have began a school year from the beginning ( as a teacher). It's 5:45 a.m. and I've been awake nearly an hour. I awoke early because today, more than ever, I needed to connect with my God. I needed to make sure he goes before me today, so that I don't have a nervous breakdown. I needed to pray for Benjamin's day, as well as the day of all my students.

God led me to 1 Chronicles 4:10 this morning. The Prayer of Jabez.

O God, that thou bless me indeed.
Enlarge my territory (however you see fit)
That thine hand will be with me
and keep me from evil,
that it may not bring me pain. (I'm really excellent at bringing myself pain through doing things I shouldn't have done) But - I know God will go before me today. Whatever the day brings. He will go before Benjamin as well, and enlarge his territory, lay His hand upon him and keep him from evil and pain.

I'll post a full recount later today!

He Is

Today was hard. I went a million miles an hour at work, and after work I went to get a much needed pedicure. Seriously, I think my heels were gray...

Anyway, when I arrived at the nail salon, I was immediately placed in one of those massaging chairs that shake everything on you while you are trying to read or talk to the pedicurist. My feet were placed in warm bubbly water, and I leaned back...relaxed. I waited as they finished up some other ladies and saw the crowd in the waiting room growing rapidly. I waited 15 minutes...30....45....yes, by this time the warm bubble water was more like tepid and flat...and I felt my nerves winding back up in retribution. What is going on here? Hello? You put me in the chair...that means you'll be right back! Hello???

I know what you're thinking. I should have left. Yes, I know. However, it seemed that everytime I was about to get up, I thought...5 more minutes. Finally after 1 hour and 10 minutes, sitting in the horrible massage chair with pruny feet...they began my pedicure. However, by this time I needed to be back home in about 35 minutes for life group. So it was a rush job...not a rush cost. Now, I do not get a pedicure often...this is primo special occasion! I wanted to savor! But, alas, I could not.

So, I leave. Nails are done. Feet are less offensive to my husband. Which is what matters, I guess. Now, I have to get home because we are due at life group in 12 minutes. Luckily, I had asked MM #1 to put the food I was to bring in the oven. So, at least that will be ready to go when I run in the door.
Can you hear the scary music and see the foreshadowing in the above statement? Now, life group kids eat beforehand. They do not actually eat at life group...so at least MM#2 would be properly fed when I got home...(more foreshadowing). Crud, 8 minutes to get home, pack up the food, get to life group which was 9 minutes from our house.

I get home. Run to the kitchen counter to retrieve the appetizers MM#1 so graciously placed in the oven 15 minutes prior. But, where are they to be found? I don't see any appetizers. I don't smell any appetizers.
" I thought you meant to pre-heat the oven ten minutes before you got home" says MM #1. Ah well, no biggie. So we'll be a little late. No biggie.

Yeah right. My experience at the salon now manifests it's ugly head in my kitchen. Small fit. I apologize. Thank goodness for gracious husbands and sons. Well, let's go. At least MM #2 has eaten. " Oh no, I thought he would eat there " exclaims MM #1. What? Exsqueeze me? Have the kiddos ever eaten at life group? No. Before. They. Eat. Before!

Fine. I'll make a turkey sandwich for him. MM#2 looks on as I shake up the mustard for his sandwich. Mustard flies into his eye.

Great.

Wash the eyeball, all is okay, grab the appetizer from the oven, 15 minutes late so far, jump in the car, dry the tears ( mine), and we are off.
Finally, we get to life group. 25 minutes late. Oh no! I think I forgot to turn off the oven. Hop back in the car, run home, run in, oven is not on. Get back in the car and head back. 32 minutes late. I want to cry. I am deep breathing. I am praying. God hears me and comforts my hectic mind. He slows it down. I heard the following song on the radio, and it helped my arrive to life group (finally) with a sound mind.

He Is - by Mark Shultz

Father, let the world just fade away
Let me feel your presence in this place
Lord, I've never been so weary
How I need to know you're near me
Father, let the world just fade away
Till I'm on my knees
Till my heart can sing
He is
He was
He always will be
Even when it feels like there is no one holding me
Be still, my soul
He is
_ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sigh. Thank you for stilling my soul, and restoring me.

Deadbeat Blogger

Wow. I've totally failed my 40 day blogging test. It's inservice week at school and I am going crazy! From 8-5 it's Copies, meetings, lessons, copies, folders, thinking, lessons, copies, lunch, meetings, lessons...and tonight, I made time to focus all of the stress into Zumba. It was good. My instrustor insures me that by this time next year, I could be a body double for Jennifer Lopez, and have some rhythm to boot! We'll see about that. I'm anticipating the possibilities.

What I'm really excited about is expanding my little padded world by meeting a lot of the Zumba ladies. Our pastor encourages us to try and meet new people each week and get to know at least one of those people. That was hard for me, because in my world...I'm surrounded 24-7 by churched people. Now, I've expanded my little bubble, and hopefully God will use me through my little Latin American Zumba class. Ole!

Missed you at Zumba, Amanda. It just wasn't the same not seeing you shake your groove thang in the mirror.

Summit

If you couldn't make out my blog yesterday, I believe the problem is fixed...so, you can check it out again.

Today I went to the Leadership Summit conference, put on by the Willow Creek Association. It was really amazing to see the different viewpoints of the various leaders in our country as well as internationally. Just today, I heard from leaders of our world such as Tony Blair, Bono, Wes Stafford ( Compassion International), David Gergen (political analyst for CNN), Andrew Rugasira (founder of Good African Coffee and passionate about empowering Africans with trade instead of Aid), as well as two brothers Dan and Chip Heath who shared on the power of failure...and why maybe it's not such a bad thing.

The idea that maybe failure is just the first sign of eventual success is an amazing perspective. It seems to me that many people (and many leaders) do not allow any margin of failure...and because of that there is no margin for greatness or for God's movement. They must control all situations, all people, and all viewpoints. God wants us to try new ideas or he wouldn't have given us the power to think of new ideas. He wants us all to be of different personality or else he would have made us all the same and life would be very boring. When we are so afraid to step out and try something that God has placed in our hearts, because of failure or because of a fear that others will ridicule our failure then we don't move. We stay in the same place forever and ever. To accomplish great things in God's kingdom, we must move. And to move, we must be willing to fail. We must also be willing to allow others to fail and learn.

Could It Be....

Okay, I missed bogging yesterday. But God is a God of second chances, so you should give them, too. : )

I went to see The Time Traveler's Wife with Amanda this evening. It was good. In an effort to not be utterly confused and to get more from the characters, you should read the book first if you are thinking about seeing it.

Anyway, on my way home I was thinking. I was thinking and listening to one of Music Man #1's albums done in the closet of a friend's bedroom. I haven't listened to it in a few years. I'd forgotten (almost) how gifted MM #1 is. How brave he was to leave everything behind and use the gifts he had to further God's kingdom...when many of us are afraid to give up the smallest thing, MM #1 gave it all away. He's really a beautiful person and a wonderful musician. My prayer for him is that God allows him to feel the blessings and joy in his gift always.
As I listened to one song, thinking about some hard issues that have been on my mind...wondering what I could possibly do to change them...MM #1's voice came through on the speaker.He spoke to me through that scratched CD he made years and years ago. And in the midst of feeling sorry for myself, in the midst of asking why is this journey so hard, and Where is God when I am feeling so...without Him? MM #1 gave me an idea...

"Could it be that
every step He takes me
leads me into his embrace?
With arms around me
He won't let me go.
And Could it be
that by His will
He's brought me
to this place where
He can shed this
body for one
that won't pass away..."(c)

Thanks, baby, for reminding me that all the trials are not for nothing. There is an end...and it is in His arms. He knows what our prayer is...and we will just keep keeping on until then.

And don't get any ideas, those words are copyrighted!

Brownies

Tonight was life group, which for those of you who don't know is when a group of people meet every week at one anothers houses and basically try and grow together...share the burdens, iron sharpens iron.

So when we have group at my house, I always make dessert. Usually brownies. Well, I was really hungry earlier and was thinking about one of my favorite candies, Raisinets...and I got to thinking - I should mix things up a little. I should try to rock the boat, stir the pot...I should put raisins in my brownies! Yes! It'll be just like eating Raisinets or eating a Chunky Bar!

So I did it.


And I didn't tell the group.

Because I was afraid they wouldn't try them.

So everyone shows up and are heading for the brownies. I start thinking...maybe this wasn't a such a grand idea. Maybe I shouldn't have risked what is our ONLY dessert tonight to try something new. What if they don't like them? What if they spit them out? What if they think I'm a bad baker? What if I am a bad baker? But, hey, I was in it...so I figured let's ride this baby out and see how it ends up. After all, what has anyone ever done that is memorable without a risk? God always calls us to risk a little, or sometimes a lot, in order to gain something eternal.
I'm not saying my brownies are eternal...but I'm trying to maximize on a teachable moment here, so just go with me. Moses risked family and freedom, Noah risked dignity, Abraham and Sarah risked their entire way of life, and Esther risked her very life. What have I ever risked? Not a lot. Definitely not enough.
So, heck, I can risk a few raisin brownies being spit across the kitchen.

Here we go! I won't say anything. I'll just let them discover the raisin morsels on their own.


And they did.

Zumba

Ok, so technically I am 9 minutes late blogging on the 11th...but I'm counting it...because it was just that kind of day.

After work today, I rushed home and got ready for Zumba class. Amanda and I go and punish ourselves in this class every Tuesday and Thursday. It's fun...we get to flail around, pretend we're Latin ballroom dancers, sweat profusely, almost lose our lunch, and burn a whole lotta calories doing it. I'm pretty proud of myself, I've told so many people about the class...and I actually have convinced 3 people to try it out! As I was flailing around there tonight, somewhere in the midst of trying to salsa and losing some type of consciousness, I thought about how many people I've told about Zumba compared to how many I've told about God. Hmmm...it is humbling. I need to work on that...I need to work harder and telling people about the gift of eternal life rather than just gabbing about shaking around and having fun on Tuesday and Thursday nights. Sometimes God talks to us at the most interesting times, right?

Okay - I'm going to bed. I have major pain in my back, and I know I pulled something strange in the stomach area. Amanda said it's probably not a hernia. I hope she's right.
She usually is.

Music Man #2 turns 8

Today is a bittersweet day. Music Man #2 turns 8 years old .

Gone are the days of rocking to sleep, little fingers and toes, and being the apple of his eye.

I must welcome the days of my little man growing into a big one...and everything that comes along with that.

Just last year, he wasn't hesitant to run out to hug me after school, but as he has grown within the last year, I've noticed a hesitation, a quick glance around to make sure no one is watching. It's to be expected. I'm not sure a mother is ever fully prepared, though.

Just yesterday he called me mommy, crawled around the floor, laughed his little boy laugh, held me at night. Now he says, "Mom", rides his bike, has intelligent conversations, prays for his future wife and children, and wears braces...he's becoming the man that he needs to become. My prayer for him this year is for God to instill a feeling of bravery, boldness, compassion, and peace.

I love you little man. There is never going to be anything like you ever again. You are most awesome.

My husband reads Jane Austen

Well...he's read about Jane Austen...and wants to see all the movies made of her novels. So...today, after my efforts of convincing Music Man #1 that reading the book is almost ALWAYS better than the movie were pushed aside, we watched Austen's comedy...Emma.

Emma Woodhouse ( played by Gwyneth Paltrow) is a beautiful, rich, know-it-all...and a bit of a busybody who thinks that she knows what is best for everyone and doesn't have any qualms about saying so. What she finds during the course of the novel is that she knows little about a lot, including herself. Of course, as in most of Jane Austen's novels, everyone turns out happy, or at least tolerant, in the end.

That's the good thing about Austen. Her characters are flawed...but loved. They always learn their lesson in the end, albeit experiencing the consequences of their actions...pride, carelessness, no self-control, prejudice, gossip, loose tongues...

It's a little that way with God, isn't it? He created this person...this character...me. Even though I'm prideful, careless, selfish, etc, etc, etc. He loves me...and somehow or someway, he always makes sure I learn my lesson in the end so that all will turn out well in the long run.

Cool God.

Book Review

Since Amanda and I have started our very own...very exclusive book club ( still unnamed...will consider your suggestions), I am reading my way through the most recent best sellers. We just made our way through Julie & Julia by Julie Powell.

I loved the idea of this book. I loved that Julie took something on and went all the way...because, let's face it, how many people actually finish something that they don't HAVE to do? I love the story. I like that it was true; however, knowing it was true saddened me.
I was constantly reminded, as I read, of the dark reality that many still live. The hopelessness, the disregard for marriage, the language, the worry...anyway...a good story, but there was a great deal of crudeness and language in the book. Here's hoping that the movie doesn't follow suit.
What the author and story did do was remind me that regular people can still do some pretty amazing things, if we put our minds to it and add a little elbow grease. It reminded me that maybe I need to do that a little bit more. It reminded me that maybe I can do something great...and as small as it may seem at the time ( like choosing to cook through a cookbook in a year), it may turn out to be as influential as a blockbuster hit. What if I geared that energy...that focus...that commitment into God's Kingdom? The possibilities are endless...


Anyway, help me name the bookclub...or else we could be called (per Amanda's suggestion) the Bibliophiliacs.

The Dog Days of Summer....are done

Just got home from a really great night at the beach with my boys ( A.K.A - Music Men). There is nothing like sand, salt, and warm wind to conjure up the nostalgic and fuzzy feelings of family-time. Throwing the ball, flying a kite, jumping the waves....stinging eyes, tangled hair, sand inside and in between everything...laughing children, sandcastles, crying over fallen food, mouthfuls of sand, fistfuls of sand, food full of sand, everything full of sand...sigh....wet hugs, warm kisses, building memories with the boys...

I'm going to miss the summer.

I'm not going to miss showering in the 3-feet tall showers at Malachite Beach. Awkward.

Bulletin board or bust

I can't put up a bulletin board.
I can't cut out cute shapes.
I can't line up fancy borders and come up with clever names.
That is why I am a middle school teacher.
That is why I made the choice to NOT take the Exit onto Elementary Blvd.
Yet, there I was with one foot balanced on a school desk, slamming the palm of my hand into a stapler, trying...to...get...that...silly...brown...border...attached...
to...the...insanely...solid...wall.

There are now 352 deformed staples littering the carpet of my classroom.

There are now 2 hands that are swollen and bruised because they didn't have the help of the magical "wall" stapler.
There are now 2 boys that don't have dinner yet, because it took entirely too long.
There are now 2 (may I say) totally cute, perfectly coordinated, most awesome bulletin boards up on the walls of my classroom.


And I can't wear denim vests with apples and crayons on them. Or Christmas light earrings.
Elementary teachers are far more creative than I .

Floaties

I'm committing to a 40 day blog. Everyday, for better or for worse. Maybe I want to make sure I'm not as boring and self-centered as I sometimes think I am. Maybe I want to make sure not everything revolves around me.
Doesn't everyone want to have something profound to say? Like Amanda...she always has something profound to say. Might I remember Psalm 51:6...where I learn who gives wisdom and the art of being "profound"..., that I may understand and pass it on. Teachable moments...He really does take advantage of them.

So...I start my quest in to the depths of originality. I will swim into the Blogging Ocean to find out once and for all... do I still need my floaties or can I survive among the best of the bloggers...or at least not die.


Amanda says not to put music on my blog...does it interrupt the mood or chain of thought...I don't know. BUT - Amanda is usually right. So - I obey. Is it the format of my posts that draws people in?
Should I embellish the story
by
writing
like
this.

I'll ask Amanda.